The Story of Avaleigh Grace's Birth Part 2:

     On October 3rd at 2pm, I began having minor contractions. I really hadn't had any contractions or even Braxton Hicks up until that point. They started coming every five minutes. After about half an hour of this I called my Mom and asked her what she thought. She said to just track and time them for a while. As Providence would have it, Justin was off that day. :-) I tracked my contractions the whole afternoon into the evening. They went from 5 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart, but they still weren't very painful. I called the Hospital at 7pm and a nurse said she would have a Dr. call me back. Dr. McNulty called me within 10-20 minutes. Once she found out I was 11 days past my due date, how far apart my contractions were and how long I'd been having them, she said to take a shower and then come on in, but that there was no need to rush. I called my Mom to let her know she could meet us at the hospital and texted a few friends. I had been anxiously awaiting our baby girl's arrival, so of course our bags were packed and ready to go. I took my shower and off we went. The contractions got a little more intense in the car. We got to the hospital, and they put us in triage. The nurse checked me, and I was still only 2.5 centimeters. I definitely was not in hard labor by any stretch of the imagination at this point, so they still weren't sure that they were going to keep me. After they left the room, I turned to Justin and said, "I am not going home until I've had this baby!" I was also determined not to have any pitocin to speed things along. This was at about 10pm.

Within the next hour, everything changed. I became extremely restless and could not sit or lie still in the hospital bed. I could feel everything shifting in my body, and it scared me a little bit. Suddenly I became very nauseous and threw up. After that the contractions became extremely painful. Dr. McNulty came in and checked me, and I was three centimeters. They decided to officially admit us to a regular labor and delivery room at that point. They moved us into said room, got me hooked up to the contraction monitor, and my IV for hydration, and then I remember they let my Mom come back. At that point the pain of the contractions took all of my attention. I was tensing a lot when each would come and gripping the side of the bed. The nurse told me not to do that, and I rememeber thinking "Leave me alone!" :-P

At one point my main nurse looked at the contraction monitor and said, "I don't know why you're acting like these contractions are hurting so much because they're not appearing very big on the monitor. I remember gritting my teeth and thinking "Well maybe your monitor is BROKEN." ;-) My Mom told me after all was said and done that she checked the monitor several times, and my contractions never tracked very big throughout my entire labor.

At one point they had me get up out of the bed, and I cannot remember why. I remember as I was standing up, a contraction hit and when it subsided, I said "It feels like I am breaking in half." My Mom said: "Yep, that's about right." At that point the nurse asked if I wanted an epidural. I said yes, and she went to call for the Anesthesiologist. Everyone had to leave the room except for he and the nurse. I got the epidural, and the pain subsided. I relaxed and Justin and my Mom came back into the room. We talked for a few hours, and then I laid down and took a nap. I continued to dilate thankfully and at 6am, Dr. McNulty came in and checked me. She said I was fully dialted. :-D. They turned my epidural off at that point, so that I could feel to push. The shift changed at 7am, so I got a new nurse and a new Doctor. Around 8-8:30am, I began pushing. I was so excited and pushed hard for an hour and a half. Then I hit a major wall. I was so tired and felt like I had been pushing forever. The Dr. and my nurse (who was amazing!) kept telling me that Avi's head was right there and that I was so close. My response: "You keep saying that!" Justin, my Mom, the Doctor and nurse assured me that it was really true, and that I was so close. I got back to work and sure enough a half an hour later, out Avaleigh came!

I will never, ever forget how I felt when I first laid eyes on her. She was so tiny, and so beautiful and perfect. I was in love instantly. They laid her on my chest and Justin and I just cried and took her in. It was incredible. The pain and hard work of giving birth went out the window instantly. I felt wonderful and in complete awe. They bathed Avi right there next to me, and I just stared at her in wonder. There was a flurry of activity in the room, but I don't remember much of that. Avi was waling pretty good during her bath, so Justin went over and started talking gently to her. She immediately stopped crying and turned her head toward his voice. I cried again at that point!

Words could never adequately express how incredible it has been to become a mother, and I am incredibly humbled and grateful that God has given us the incredible blessing of our Avi Grace. Becoming her Mama has been pure joy! <3 p="">

The story of Avaleigh Grace's birth....Part 1

I have been meaning to write this blog post for a while now. The main reason being so that I don't forget the story of how God brought our precious baby girl into the world. I will never forget the incredible excitement and anticipation my husband and I felt the moment we saw that second pink line pop up on that pregnancy test. But alas, I am getting ahead of myself here.....

Justin and I had some goals we hoped to meet before we started our little family. The first goal was for him to finish college and pass his boards so that he could begin his career as a nurse. The second was for me to have gone a full year having been able to manage and function well for a full year with bipolar disorder. As of September 2011, both of those goals had been met. We decided to go ahead and have me go off of my Bipolar medication in June. We wanted me to have been off of it for a full three months before we started "trying" to get pregnant. We knew that there were no guarantees that God would grant us our desire to become parents, and we tried not to assume anything. You can imagine our great joy when we discovered that I was pregnant on January 21st, 2012. I remember that we had gone out to dinner at Red Lobster thanks to our friends, Shawn and Renelle giving us a gift card for Christmas that we had been saving. On the way home I asked Justin to stop at the Dollar Tree so that I could grab a pregnancy test or three. (FYI: The $1 tests are just as accurate as the $15 dollar ones. ;0) I honestly really didn't think I was pregnant. I was only 2 days late, and just figured I'd take a test just in case. I had myself convinced that I was not pregnant as I was trying not to get my hopes up. Even though we had tried really hard not to assume anything I found myself feeling keen disappointment every time a pregnancy test came up negative. We got home, and I went in and took the test. A second line appeared on the test almost immediately and it was bright, bold pink. There was no question that it was positive. I immediately clapped both hands over my mouth in disbelief and excitement. For once in my life, I was truly speechless. I walked out of our bathroom into our living room and still had my hands over my mouth. Justin looked at me, grinned, and said "It was positive wasn't it." I just nodded, frozen in place with eyes as big as saucers. Justin chuckled and said "Well come give me a hug." We hugged and laughed together and our excitement grew. God had answered our prayers for a baby, and we were overjoyed. I had known since I was a little girl that I very much wanted to be a wife and a Mama when I got older and God was granting me the desire of my heart. I felt very humbled and blessed by this incredible gift. I of course wanted to call our families and tell them immediately. Justin wisely advised that we  wait a few weeks. I was about 5 weeks along when we found out I was pregnant. Within the next 4 weeks, we had shared our news with both of our families and when I was 11 weeks, we made the "official Facebook announcement." I remember typing the simple status that said: "....and then there were three." :0)

I am thankful to say that I was blessed with a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy. I had nausea, minor vomiting and exhaustion during my first trimester as many women do, but other than that, I felt great. I got uncomfortable at the end as most women do and impatient for our girl to arrive, but really did feel great.

We found out in April that we were having a baby girl. I was initially terrified to have a girl, but was fine either way. I absolutely LOVE having a baby girl now and wouldn't trade her for a million boys. Little girls are a LOT of fun, and as my Mom encouraged me....they'll only become high maintenance, entitled drama queens if you raise them that way. ;0)

On October 3rd, I began having minor contractions. I was 11 days past my "due date" at this point and was very ready to have this baby. However, I did not want to get my hopes up prematurely.....

Oh Pregnancy, you can be gross & hilarious...

Welp, I am officially halfway through my very first pregnancy. This of course hardly makes me an expert, but I have gained a few funny stories along the way. ;0) Please STOP reading now if you are easily grossed out and/or have a weak stomach. :0P During my first trimester, I threw up...a LOT. I think I became somewhat of a pro at it, lol. There were many times I would cook dinner, take 2-3 bites then be racing for the bathroom. I also learned that sometimes when feeling nauseous while prego, you might as well just go stare at the toilet until you throw up. It expedites the inevitable process, and you feel so much better afterward. The only upside to all this "morning" sickness is that I lost ten pounds. I figure that can't be all bad, since you're supposed to gain 25-35 pounds throughout the course of your pregnancy. I figured this would help me not gain too much weight in the long run. Thankfully, now that I am well into my second trimester, I am a lot less sick, and I'm feeling better all the time. This brings me to the most hilarious (and gross) thing that has happened to me during this pregnancy. I was at my parent's house last week, and was having much difficulty with my spring allergies. I was sneezing really hard quite often. At one point I sneezed so hard that I ended up with a little bit of pee running down my leg. I was shocked at first and then just started laughing really hard. How can something be so gross and so embarrassing, but so hilarious all at the same time? I am just REALLY thankful that I wasn't out in public somewhere! I can only imagine what my 3rd trimester is going to be like! Now I realize many of you may not share my humor or find any of this funny....perhaps you can chalk the fact that I do up to my having 5 brothers and nannying 3 boys for a living. :0P

Like Waking Up....

I've written quite a bit on this blog about my battle with bipolar disorder. Unless God chooses to heal me, it is a part of my every day life. There is a big part of me that would love nothing more than for God to heal me and to once again return to a "normal life." There is a bigger part of me still that hopes He doesn't heal me this side of heaven. I fear that if He did choose to make my brain function properly again, that I would forget how desperately I need Him every moment of every day. I am a forgetful creature you see, and learn things best when I am in the most difficult places. I think that speaks more to my hard-headed pride than anything else, but it is nonetheless true. I also believe that our loving and constant heavenly Father, is far more concerned with our spiritual healing (making us more and more dependent upon and like Jesus Christ) than He is with physical healing in this life here on earth. That is real love.

Over the past 4 1/2 years I've grown somewhat accustomed to the cycle of the disorder. A period of deep depression followed by a high-energy/sleepless "manic" phase, and then about 2 weeks of "normal" before the cycle starts all over again. I went off of my medication recently (with my Doctor's approval) because Justin and I would really like to have a baby, and the medicine I was taking would be harmful to our unborn child. Being off of my medication has been different than I expected. My manic phases are much less intense, my normal phases are longer, but my depressed phases are deeper, darker, and longer. I am just coming out of one of these 2+ week depressed phases and this brings me to the title of the blog. Whenever I come out of these dark times, it's like waking up from a really bad, way too real dream. It's like the sun never rose all those mornings I was "asleep" and there was just darkness, fear, self-loathing, desperation, and what FEELS very much like Godlessness. I can't sense God at all during these times, and I don't necessarily mean that in just a touchy feely sort of way. I mean I know and believe He's there and that He has not changed, but it literally FEELS as though He has turned His back toward me and is beyond disappointed and angry with me. That's what makes "waking up" so very glorious. It's as though the sun comes out again, God has turned back around and He's smiling at me, He's pleased with me and His arms are wide open once again. Everything that seemed dark, desolate, and lonely before is alight with color, joy and friendship. It seems almost akin to waking from the dead.

I write this because I feel that God impressed it upon my heart to do so. The point of it all being that what we FEEL and what is true are often to VERY different things, praise God! No matter what I feel, or how dark and lonely life seems to get, my Abba Father's everlasting love never ceases, His mercies continue to be new every morning and I rest secure in the very palm of His hand. GREAT is His faithfulness! This and only this are what keep me putting one foot in front of the other. God has blessed me with people in my life who speak truth to me when I can't seem to grasp it, and remind me that these dark days WILL pass. This reality gives new meaning to the verses in Psalms that talk about joy coming in the morning.

"In all things we know that we are more than conquerors. You keep us by Your love. How high, how wide, no matter where I am, healing is in Your hands. How deep, how strong, now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands."

God has been more than kind to me and I am forever grateful!

Praying God's Word January 1st:

"The Giant step in the walk of faith is the one we take when we decide that God no longer is a part of our lives. He is our life."

"My Father, I acknowledge that You are the Lord Almighty. You are first and You are last, and apart from You there is no other God. Make me witness to the fact that there is no other Rock but You. Enable me to say with full assurance, 'I know not one' (Isaiah 44:6,8).

You are my Lord, my Holy One, my Creator, my King. You are the One who made a way through the sea, a path through mighty waters (Isaiah 43:15-16).

You are the Lord my God. I desire to love You, listen to Your voice, and hold fast to You, for You, Lord, are my life (Deuteronomy 30:20)."

My Hopes for 2012:

I have always loved the fresh and new feeling a new year holds. The chance to start with a clean slate so to speak, to grow and change for the better. A chance to set new goals and reflect on the previous year. I think looking back and reviewing how God has increased our understanding of and love for Him and provided for us is so important as a follower of Jesus Christ. Remembering where we've come from and where God's brought us increases our faith and encourages our hearts. My goals for 2012 are simple. I like to keep things simple as it's less overwhelming. ;0)

My verses for 2012: "Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." ~ Ephesians 6:19&20

My song for 2012: 'My Desire' by Jeremy Camp...

My hopes and goals for 2012:

1.) To be more aware of God's constant presence and blessings in my life and to fall more in love with Him. I want Him to blow the roof off of my limited understanding of who He is and to be in awe of Him every day and stop taking Him for granted. I want to be thinking and talking about Him and His Word more in my every day life.

2.) I want to be a better wife...to cook more, encourage more, be more patient, love better, and be less self-centered in our marriage.

3.) I want to be kinder to and take better care of this body God has given me....eat more veggies & fruit, eat less junk, exercise at least 3 days a week....take more brisk walks outside, etc. I'd also really like to run some 5K's this summer. :0)

4.) I want to be more purposeful with my time-management, spend less time on the computer and more time reading and writing notes of encouragement, etc.

5.) I want to be a better sister and a better friend, to invest more of myself in my friends and family.

Above all else I want to grow as a daughter of the the King of kings, to become more like Jesus as I continue to become the woman He wants me to be...I am very much looking forward with an expectant hope to all that God has in store for this new year!

5 minute Friday...as inspired by my friend, Alison:

I am copying this idea from my good friend, Alison whom I have had the privilege of knowing for the past 17 years. The prompt for today's post is the word grateful and I am to write for five minutes straight on that subject without editing or re-wording anything. For someone who is a perfectionist when it comes to blogging/writing, this is NO small feat. :0P I have a hard time communicating through the written word without re-reading everything I write over and over again, oftentimes ever AFTER I've hit the publish post button. I just like to make sure that I am comuunicating clearly and in the best way possible....from my heart. Ok now I have one minute to write about the actual prompt. LOL.....Grateful: I am grateful for my very favorite Thanksgiving memory/tradition that my family had practiced each year for a while now. We all sit down together at some point on Thanksgiving day and share things we are deeply thankful to God for. This year for the very first time, we also went around the circle with my 16 member family (and growing!) and shared something we appreciated and are thankful for about the person seated 2 seats over from us. I had my 14 year old baby brother Joel. There are a million things I love and appreciate about that kid, but the first thing out of my mouth was that I am thankful and look forward to getting a hug and kiss on the cheek from him every time I walk through my parent's door. How many 14 year old kids do you know who do that? I don't know ANY! #blessedfamily. :0)

Sowing Seed in the Midst of Tears...

"God will give us victory, but sometimes He will require every ounce of energy and cooperation we have in the process."

"Blessed, merciful God, Your Word promises that those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. If I go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with me. (Psalm 126:5-6) Help me to see that the promise is not made to those who simply have tears but to those who are willing to sow seed in the midst of their tears. Your Word tells us in Luke 8:11 that the seed is the Word. If I'm willing to keep believing and sowing Your Word, even when I am desperately hurting, You will bring me forth from the difficult season with songs of joy. Because of Your faithfulness, with joy I will draw water from the wells of salvation." (Isaiah 12:3) ~ Beth Moore in Praying God's Word Day By Day, October 18.

Thoughts on yesterday's sermon from my journal...

God is the one who gives us encouragement and endurance. (Romans 15:5.) There is no such thing as pulling ourselves up by our boot straps as Believers. If we really understand who we are as human beings and who God is as our life saver and only hope, we know we don't even have bootstraps!

"The giant step in the walk of faith is the one when we decide God is no longer part of our lives. He is our very life."


"...so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."
~ II Corinthians 12:7-10 (The Message)

"Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin, complete self-confidence is a weakness."

"Self confidence should not even be a part of our vocabulary as Believers." "We put no confidence in the flesh."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path's straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

" We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. For even Christ did not please Himself but, as it is written: 'The insults of those who insult you have fallen on Me.' For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ... May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15:1-5&13 (NIV)

"Our focus should be off of ourselves and on others."

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." ~Ephesians 3:14-21 (NIV)

Revelation 4

I know I post this song a lot....however, it never gets old for me. I know that this is going to be our anthem in heaven, and I am more than happy to practice this anthem here on earth! I love picturing what it will be like when all of us who have trusted Jesus Christ as our Savior will kneel around the great throne in heaven worshiping Almighty God with all the angels and heavenly beings, saying....

"Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
Who was, and is, and is to come.”





" After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven.
And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said,
“Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.”
At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven
with someone sitting on it.
And the One who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby.
A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne.
Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones,
and seated on them were twenty-four elders.
They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads.
From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder.
In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing.
These are the seven spirits of God. Also in front of the throne
there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures,
and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back.
The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox,
the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle.
Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around,
even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

‘Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
Who was, and is, and is to come.”

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him
Who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever,
the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who sits on the throne
and worship Him who lives for ever and ever.
They lay their crowns before the throne and say:


“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for You created all things,
and by Your will they were created
and have their being.”

~ Revelation 4 (NIV)

Be Still My Beating Heart...

Dear Friends,
I write this to you to ask you to pray for me. My dear friend Kristi is writing a book about responding in a godly manner to disappointment/suffering. I met Kristi ten years ago when I was a freshmen @Baptist Bible College and she was working at the shool as the Student Activities seceretary. Kristi has been serving in Berlin, Germany as a missionary with the Association of Baptists for World Evangelism for almost 6 years now. Her ministry there is THRIVING, and God is doing some VERY exciting things through Krist in the lives of the people she is serving. God had laid it upon her heart to write a few chapters herself and then have dear brothers and sisters of hers in the Lord write chapters that deal with suffering in other areas of life. Kristi has also found it important to have all the contributers be 35 and under as she falls into that age bracket herself. Sometimes we as younger generation Christians are caught off guard and find ourselves reeling a little bit when we are hit with some of life's devastating circumstances such as disappointments due to sudden loss of close loved ones, chronic physcial illness, infertility, miscarriages, broken relationships, etc.

Long story short, Kristi asked me over a year ago to write the chapter about chronic physical illness. My first response was yes, and then came the onslaught of self doubt...."You have struggled so hard during your battle with Bipolar disorder and have often screwed up, made mistakes, sinned, doubted God's presenece with you, etc. I have voiced these fears to my Mother, and to Kristi, following with ..."but I know God wants me to do this....and this is about Him.....NOT me." God has done amazing things in me heart, thinking, life, etc. over the past 4 years since my battle with this illness began. I have shared those amazing things on my blog, in person, and in personal journals. I have prayed that God would help me to walk this road well, that He would give me the strength to honor Him, and glorify Him on this journey He has me on. Never in my life has something scared me this way, but my Heavenly Father has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, peace, and a sound mind. Deep in my soul I know without a doubt that this is of God. He will do with what I write as He sees fit, and as I pray over every word, and ask Him to get me out of the way....He can accomplish great things! His WORD and the anchor hold He has on my life are what need to be shared. Will you pray with me? The chapter is "done" and ready for me to email to Kristi....She has had EVERY other chapter completed, edited, etc. for months and has been more than patient with me as she is excited to get it to the publisher. Please pray that it won't be authors' stories that readers will walk away remembering. Pray that they will be blown away by the person of Jesus Christ and the work He has done in each of our lives. Please pray that their lives will be saved and changed as a result. Thank you in advance for praying with me! ~ Melody Joy

Isaiah 53

Isaiah 53

"Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire Him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
He was despised, and we held Him in low esteem.

Surely He took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered Him punished by God,
stricken by Him, and afflicted.
But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on Him,
and by His wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on Him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet He did not open His mouth;
He was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so He did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment He was taken away.
Yet who of His generation protested?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people He was punished.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in His death,
though He had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in His mouth.

Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush Him and cause Him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes His life an offering for sin,
He will see His offspring and prolong His days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in His hand.
After He has suffered,
He will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by His knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and He will bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will give Him a portion among the great,
and He will divide the spoils with the strong,
because He poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For He bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors."

II Corinthians 12:7-10

"...so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."
~ II Corinthians 12:7-10 (The Message)

"...in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me,'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~II Corinthians 12:7-10 (NIV)

Memory Verses March & April 2011:

March 1, 2011
"The LORD your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy."
~Zephaniah 3:17 (NASB)

March 15, 2011
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay
to show that this all-surpassing power is from God
and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side,
but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed."
~II Corinthians 4:7-9 (NIV)

April 1, 2011
"Not to us, O LORD, not to us
But to Your name be the glory
Because of Your love and faithfulness."
~Psalm 115:1 (NIV)

April 15, 2011
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests,
but each of you to the interests of the others."
~Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

Kids say and do the most profound things sometimes...

I am the oldest girl in a family of eight children. I started babysitting when I was eleven. I've been nannying/teaching, or working with children since 2003. All of this to say, I've spent a significant amount of time with the youngest among us. I have a long list of some of the most hilarious things they have said to me over the years. I have alonger list of the profound things they have said to me and done in my presence. Today was no excpetion.....
As mentioned in a previous post, my dear friend Larua took on three young foster children a few months ago. They are siblings and were removed from their home as both parents are alcoholics and Daddy is a drug dealer. Abby is 4, Conner is 2, and Alex is 1. (The children's names have been changed for HIPPA/privacy purposes.) For the past few weeks, I have been giving Laura a hand with them, as she has her hands full with her 4 older children, 14, 12, 9, & 6. Every time I show up, I have a grand time with the kids. All three are understandably angry and that anger manifests itself in some ugly ways sometimes. Despite that, these three darlings have captured my heart, and taught me much.
I believe with all of my heart that on more than one occasion, God has used children to speak and confirm truth to my mind and heart. My youngest brother, Joel, is 14 now, and God has been using him since he could talk to teach me more about Himself. God used 2 year old Conner today....Conner's anger manifests itself in the ugliest way out of the three kids. He throws a nasty tantrum most times he is told no. Today he only threw 1 in the 6 hours I was with him. (A small miracle to be sure. :0) He told me today about an hour after I arrived that he really liked me. Each day when I arrive, he and his sister run excitedly for the door and yell "Mel is here!" Never fails to make my day! Today was special though. Conner would be playing and then several times throughout the day he would drop whatever he was playing with, run over to me and give me a hug and kiss on the cheek. He also climbed up in my lap several times and just cuddled with me all on his own....In all honesty, I am not all that different from Conner. I throw angry tantrums in my own way when God says no. Jesus loves me still. Oh that I would have the faith of a little child to trust implicitly that come what may, no matter how many times He says no, my heavenly Father ever, always has my very best interest at heart. He knows that in order to become all that He intends me to be, I must be told no....Oh that I would seek Him out to spend time with Him and express my love to Him several times throughout the day, simply because I long to be near Him and bask in His reassuring presence. God used a mini vessel to teach me that today. A rambunctious, brown-eyed toddler to be precise. God is good.

"Whatever It Takes..."

I recently found a prayer journal I kept in the summer of 2007. Those brief summer months were a time of intense spiritual growth for me. God led me to Beth Moore's book, "Praying God's Word." He used it to grow me and root my mind and heart in His Word. Each morning, I rose early and went outside and spent time reading, journaling, and talking to my Savior. They were precious, precious times. A few weeks ago, I read through some of my entries in my prayer journal. Each prayer contained a similar theme....""Father today I ask that You would bring me to a better understanding of how powerful and awesome You are. Let me fall more in love with You today Lord Jesus, please have Your way in me." Another entry read "Whatever it takes Father, please accomplish Your will and Your way in my life. Thank You Jesus!" When I wrote "whatever it takes," I meant it with all my heart. I honestly had no idea what that would look like over the course of the next 3 1/2 years. That July, the symptoms of Bipolar disorder manifested themselves with intensity. I have realized since that time that my battle with insomnia, depression, and manic phases were the "whatever it takes" that God used to increase my understanding of and dependency upon Him. I have experienced some of the darkest days of my life over the past 3 1/2 years, and God has shown His lovingkindness, compassion, faithfulness, and mercy over and over and over again. He met me in my darkest hours. His mercies truly are new every morning, His compassions never ever fail, His grace is sufficient, and His power truly is perfected in our weakness. I would never have come to know how personally kind, loving, and faithful my Savior is had I not walked this road. God answered my prayer. He did and is continuing to do "whatever it takes" to accomplish His will and His way in my life, and I love Him all the more for it! Thank you Jesus for loving me as I am, but loving me too much to leave me that way!

The LORD is a Warrior....

I love this verse and song...



"The LORD your God is in your midst,

A victorious warrior,

He will exult over you with joy,

He will be quiet in His love,

He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy."

~ Zephaniah 3:17 (NASB)






The Lord is a warrior

The Lord is mighty in battle

The Lord is a warrior

The Lord of hosts is He



My Lord is a fortress

He is a Sun and a Shield

The Lord is a Deliverer

To those who put their trust in Him



He gives strength unto His people

He guards His own with His Right Hand

The Angel of the Lord camps around the ones who fear Him

And delivers them



The Lord of hosts is He



~ Ark Angel

Godliness:

"The practice of godliness is first of all the cultivation of a relationship with God, and from this the cultivation of a life that is pleasing to God. Our concept of God and our relationship with Him determine our conduct. Devotion to God consists of three essential elements: The fear of God, the love of God, and the desire for God."

"The reverent, godly Christian sees God first in His transcendent glory, majesty, and holiness, before He sees Him in His love, mercy, and grace."

"In our day we seem to have magnified the love of God almost to the exclusion of the fear of God. Because of this preoccupation, we are not honoring God and reverencing Him as we should.

"Only the God-fearing Christian can truly appreciate the love of God. He sees the infinite gulf between a holy God and a sinful creature, and the the love that bridged that gulf through the death of the Lord Jesus Christ."

~ Jerry Bridges ~ The Practice of Godliness

Prayer for Peace...

Hear me, LORD, and have mercy on me. Help me, O LORD. You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever." ~ Psalm 30:10-12 (NLT)


"Lord it is night. The night is for stillness. Let us be still in the presence of God. It is night after a long day. What has been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done. Let it be. The night is dark. Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives rest in You. The night is quiet. Let the quietness of Your peace enfold us, all dear to us, and all who have no peace. The night heralds the dawn. Let us look expectantly to a new day, new joys, new possibilities. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen"

Memory Verses for February 2011:

" Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust." ~Psalm 103:13-14 (NASB)

" ...So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment."James 2:12-13 (NASB)