I REFUSE......

I have been reading in Philippians 1, and reading and studying the life of Paul in another book by Beth Moore. It is as though I am hearing Paul's story and reading his inspired writings for the very first time. Paul experienced imprisonment and suffering FAR GREATER than the minor difficulties I have experienced in my lifetime. His suffering came as a result of His sharing the saving message of Jesus publicly and without apology. In Philippians 1:12-15,18b-21, 29-30 30, Paul says this....
"Now I want you to know my brothers, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard (elite guards in Rome, 9,000+ public law enforcers) and to everyone else, and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. ....I (Paul) will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain.....for to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me."

I cried my way through both sermons at church on Sunday. Tears of joy flowed freely, as God affirmed in my heart the reality that the suffering of depression I have battled is truly a blessing in disguise. I believe with all my heart, that as I look to Christ day by day, taking one moment at a time, He will lift me up. As I walk this road He has set out for me and choose day by day not to panic, or become overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and shame, He will use this for His greater good, and glorification in and through my life! I refuse this day to be defined by this struggle. I choose this moment to believe and place all my hope in the promise that not only do I BELONG to God the Father, but when He looks at me, he does not see what I used to be, but He sees Jesus living inside of me. He sees all that I am becoming and will be in Christ before my life on this earth is over. So long, satan and all your rotten lies I have been believing. I am SO done letting you bog me down with this and rob me of my joy. God is my victory and in Him and Him alone I rest secure!
My parents gave me the name Melody Joy. When I was about 12, my mom explained that my name means "Song of Joy." Their prayer for me from the moment they knew I was coming, was that I would be a song of joy in people's lives, pointing them to God. Father, let it ever be so! My new last name is King.....so NOW, my name means, "Song of Joy to the King" I like to add a little extra and hope and pray with all my heart, that as I learn to take every thought captive in Christ, and refuse to believe any of the world's and ultimately satan's stupid lies about me, my daily life will be an exuberant "SONG OF JOY TO THE KING OF KINGS!

"This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on it's way. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I'll stand. I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain. I WILL REJOICE, I WILL DECLARE, GOD IS MY VICTORY AND HE IS HERE!!!!" Amen?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WYK6TxWX7s