Monday, December 6, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King

My Hiding Place...

I cried tears of gratitude when I read this passage of Scripture today and listened to a song that was written directly from it...

"How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit!

When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD;' And you forgave the guilt of my sin. Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found; Surely in a flood of great waters they shall not reach him. You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him. Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones; And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart."

Psalm 32
Saturday, November 27, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King

Cathartic Honesty....

I have never really considered myself a writer, just someone who has figured out how to get by in that particular department. I honestly believe that God has wanted me to write this note for a while. I don't think I have been avoiding it, just waiting for the proverbial "perfect" words and timing, as if there is such a thing. There has definitely been a lot of fear involved in the process as well. Let's be honest here, it's hard to be real. It makes us vulnerable, and we feel open to attack when we're honest. Bottom line, honesty and realness are hard and sometimes even painful. They are also healing and cathartic. I have written some pretty honest posts on facebook before, then one day when I was feeling particularly vulnerable, I deleted them. All of them. Truth be told, my sharing openly and honestly in a blog isn't really about me, although I do reap some wonderfully cathartic benefits. Over the course of the past three and a half years, God has and still is helping me understand that my reputation rests securely in His hands. What can man do to me? He has also helped me realize that silence is oft a tool wielded destructively by the devil himself. To keep silent about my journey over the past few years is to risk leaving someone else who has perhaps struggled as I have still feeling isolated and alone. Perhaps still believing satan's age old lie that they are the only one who struggles this way and they better keep quiet about it, lest someone think ill of them. I can be silent no longer.

In July of 2007, I started experiencing severe insomnia. About a month later, I moved to Martinsburg, West Virginia to teach 1st grade at a wonderful Christian school there. I had a lovely little apartment, I knew a few people from that area that I had gone to college with and had even found a great church. I was a 24 year old Bible college graduate who finally felt like all her "ducks were in a row." Long story short, the insomnia intensified to the point that I really started to feel like I was "losing it." After a week without sleeping, I had an emotional breakdown that landed me in the hospital. I'll let you fill in the gaps here. A week later, I moved back home with my parents to recover. At the time I honestly thought I had just had a bad couple of months and figured that I'd be able to "get back on my feet" within 6 months. In some ways, I did. A distinct cycle began to manifest itself however, and it was concerning to me as well as my family. Each month, I would experience a week of severe depression, followed by a week of extremely high energy and insomnia. Then I would be "normal" for the other two weeks of the month. I saw a Psychiatrist regularly and it didn't take him long to diagnose me with bipolar disorder. He started me on an anti-depressant which did nothing for my symptoms, but provided me with a plethora of unpleasant side-effects. During this time I was working with Autistic Children. Work I loved, but was highly stressful. Eventually, the cycle got so intense, that I had to give up my job. My Psychiatrist switched me over to another antidepressant combined with another new medication called Abilify that was supposedly good people with Bipolar disorder. It didn't help me and once again I was provided with a lovely dose of side-effects. Finally, I decided to go to my regular doctor for a full physical, blood work, etc. to get a second opinion. He looked me straight in the eye and said that I didn't have bipolar disorder. He then informed me that my difficulties were purely hormonal and could be easily rectified with birth control pills. While it did help a little bit, I still experienced the erratic monthly cycle of depression, mania, then normalcy. I had to give up working once again. Finally I scheduled an appointment with a Psychologist (counselor.) in the area. After 9 weeks, he said he really did think I was suffering from bipolar disorder, and referred me to a Psychiatrist who could actually make the diagnosis and begin treatment. A little over a month ago I made my first visit to Dr. Denilo deSoto's office. After meeting with him, he decided to put me on a mood stabilizer. Since that time I have not experienced a bout of depression or mania. As my husband so aptly put it, we are cautiously optimistic at this point. I haven't felt this "normal" in over three years. To be quite honest, I am not exactly sure what to do with the "new normal."

Having said all that, I would be remiss if I did not mention two key components in my journey toward wholeness. My heavenly Father has literally not only been with me, but held me every step of the way. John 10:27 & 28. Even in my darkest hour lying in an emergency room hospital bed, when I cried out to Him, He met me in a very real way. His mercy and faithfulness have become tangibly real to me over the past three and a half years. When He said He would never leave us or forsake us as His children, He wasn't messing around! I can honestly say that I am thankful for the past few years because I would not know how very kind and personal our God really is had I not walked this path. We do indeed serve an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise God! I long for heaven and home where I can be in His presence and worship Him forever and always!

The last thing I wanted to mention, was that through reading and doing a little research, I have realized some things that I can do naturally that really help me manage my bipolar disorder on a daily basis. First of all being sunshine and exercise. My husband is really good about helping me stay on top of those two things. I have gotten a lot better at it recently too. I make it my goal to get outside and take a long, brisk walk every day. Even if the sun isn't shining and it's really cold, I do my utmost to get out there. Exercise and vitamin D are vitally important to every human being, but especially important to anyone who struggles with depression of any kind. The other three things I have found to be helpful, are making sure I am eating enough dark green, high-iron vegetables every day, maintaining a similar routine from day to day (definitely the hardest thing for me right now.) and drinking the same amount of caffeine from day to day. I know that last one may sound weird, but messing with your caffeine intake, can really mess you up, especially if you have a propensity for depression. I drink one to two cups of coffee every day, and it really helps me if I remain consistent with that. I also try to make sure I drink plenty of water as that helps me as well. Oh I also forgot to mention that I take vitamins every day that also keep me evened out.

Having shared all of this, my hope and my prayer is that this note has somehow in some way been an encouragement and blessing to you. God in His infinite mercy has been more than kind to me and I am forever grateful!

Psalm 103

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies you years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. The LORD performs righteous deeds and judgments for all who are oppressed.He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel. The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.For He Himself knows ]our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them. The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all. Bless the LORD, you His angels, mighty in strength, who perform His word, obeying the voice of His word! Bless the LORD, all you His hosts, you who serve Him, doing His will.Bless the LORD, all you works of His, in all places of His dominion; Bless the LORD, O my soul!"
Wednesday, November 3, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King


I have never handled sarcasm well. The old addage "If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen." holds true for me. I am the one running for the door. Sarcasm confuses and often times hurts to be honest. I have heard some say that they think it is a spiritual gift, albeit sarcastically. With all due respect, in my limited experience and understanding, I would have to disagree. Sarcasm when expressed at my expense, cuts deeply. I have been told by many to lighten up and just let the words roll off of me like water off a ducks back. I have tried...but to no avail. When I was in college I heard it said that "Sarcasm is destruction dressed up in clowns clothes." At the risk of sounding dramatic, I would have to agree. I am a pretty literal person, not unlike a small child. I would rather err on the side of caution and hold my tongue, then to enter the ring and risk hurting someone with a careless word.

Father forgive me for every careless and hurtful word I have ever spoken. Teach me I pray to speak only that which is kind, edifying, and necessary. Lord, help me to watch my mouth!

Ephesians 5:1-5

Be Imitators of God

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;

2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;

4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

"...But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give and accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." ~ Matthew 12:36 & 37
Thursday, October 21, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King

Bucket List

Bucket List:

1. Fly on an airplane

2. Have coffee and a nice long chat with Beth Moore

3. Sing “Long Live the King” onstage with Aaron Shust

4. Go to Prince Edward Island in Canada

5. Visit the O’Hara Family in Fresno, California

6. Teach Pre-K

7. Go to the Beach with Justin

8. Become a Mother

9. Adopt and Orphan

10. Get better at playing the Piano and learn to play the Guitar and Cello

11. Sing and share about God

12. Learn to manage the disorder I have well

13. Visit Kristi in Germany for 2 weeks

14. Go on a Cruise

15. Learn to Dance

16. Learn to drive a motorcycle

17. Learn to Knit

18. Teach Music and Dance to children free of charge

19. Learn to Sew

20. Become an Auto Mechanic

21. See “The Phantom of the Opera” from the front row on Broadway

22. Live and serve in another country for a year

23. Swim with a Dolphin

24. Become more disciplined every day. “Discipline is the price of freedom.”

25. Love and serve Jesus Christ and others with everything I’ve got more and more every day!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King

Oh My Gracious Heavens!

So, our dear friends, Dave & Debby Longacre asked us to take care of their dog Shamus while they are away on vacation this week. They live just down the road from us. All we have to do is walk or drive down to their house and feed and water Shamus every morning. Easy right? HA! I got there later than I planned today, (the morning got away from me a bit.) I finally made it down there at about 9:30am. I am planning to grocery shop today, so I got myself all ready for the day and headed down to take care of good ol' Shamus. In and out, that was the plan. I got him his food first which he immediately started devouring. I then took his water dish into the house to fill in the kitchen sink. After filling it, I noticed that there was a small, yet steady stream of water still flowing from the spigot. I was pretty sure I had turnd the water all the way off. Hmmmm? I decided to take Shamus his water, then come back to try and fix the problem. Boy was I in for a surprise! I checked both the hot and cold water handles and pushed them all the way back to the off position. Still the water flowed. I turned them on and then off again...water still flowing. I realized that the hot water handle was the culprit, so I began fiddling with it to try and make the water stop. BAM! The handle flew off and hot water started spewing EVERYWHERE. Panicking, I tried to get the handle back on to contain the explosion, but to no avail. I tried for the next 5 minutes to stop the water, but my efforts were in vain. I had left my cell phone in the car, so I ran out and quickly dialed my husband's number. He is at school today, so I knew there was a good chance I woudn't catch him in between classes. No answer. Grrrrr! I really did not want to bother Dave and Debby on their vacation, especially not with the news that I was currently flooding their kitchen! Swallowing my pride, I dialed Dave's number. "Hi Dave, it's Melody, how are you? Ummmm, where's the water shut-off for your kitchen sink?" "Under the sink." Dave replied. "DUH MEL!" I thought to myself. EVERYONE knows that. For crying out loud, even I know that, but in my state of panic, I forgot. Thankfully, Dave was very understanding, and I assured him I would clean up the mess. Now, whether or not they will ever ask me to take care of their dog again remains to be seen. :0P I got the water turned off, mopped up the floor, and returned home soaking wet. Now I cannot stop laughing about it! LOL.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King

What's The Matter With You?

Trials come in our lives and trials go,

Some stay forever, ya know.

You wake each morn with a new day before you,

Yes, full of promise but full of trouble too.

But what's the matter with you?

Is your God dead?Has He forsaken you?

His promise unkept?

Where has He gone in your time of need

and utter helplessness?

Is His Word only true when times are good?

Does His love for you depend on who you are?

or what you've done for Him?

You never know what a day may bring forth

Most times it's better that you don't;

We should learn to take each day just as it comes,

For as our days go, so shall our strength become.

~Sandi Francis 1982

My Mom had just found out she was pregnant w/ me when she wrote this. My two older brothers who are twins were just 1 year old, and had had a rough first year health wise. The Doctor also told her at her/my first ultra sound that there were at least two babies in her womb, possibly 3. (This was based soley on heartbeat, technology has come a LOOOOONG way since 1982 folks! :0) She was feeling slightly overwhelmed with so much going on. I don't know about you, but I can relate to this song on more than one level. :0)

"When my heart is faint within me, when my eyes can't see the way,

when hope seems to elude me and the night becomes my day.

I am overcome with anguish much too heavy to relieve;

He's the only One who stands there close enough for me to reach.

I am tired and I am weary of this journey that I'm on;

It's confusing and it's painful and it's taking much too long.

If I could see through to the ending, if I knew all that would be;

Would I find that I am happier? Would it matter much to me?

Life is never as you plan it, there are turns and curves thrown in;

but the bottom line is KNOWING I am better off WITH Him!"

~ Midnight Musings, Sandi Francis, (aka, my Mom) 1998
Friday, February 12, 2010 | By: Melody Joy King

I REFUSE......

I have been reading in Philippians 1, and reading and studying the life of Paul in another book by Beth Moore. It is as though I am hearing Paul's story and reading his inspired writings for the very first time. Paul experienced imprisonment and suffering FAR GREATER than the minor difficulties I have experienced in my lifetime. His suffering came as a result of His sharing the saving message of Jesus publicly and without apology. In Philippians 1:12-15,18b-21, 29-30 30, Paul says this....
"Now I want you to know my brothers, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard (elite guards in Rome, 9,000+ public law enforcers) and to everyone else, and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. ....I (Paul) will rejoice, for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain.....for to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me."

I cried my way through both sermons at church on Sunday. Tears of joy flowed freely, as God affirmed in my heart the reality that the suffering of depression I have battled is truly a blessing in disguise. I believe with all my heart, that as I look to Christ day by day, taking one moment at a time, He will lift me up. As I walk this road He has set out for me and choose day by day not to panic, or become overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and shame, He will use this for His greater good, and glorification in and through my life! I refuse this day to be defined by this struggle. I choose this moment to believe and place all my hope in the promise that not only do I BELONG to God the Father, but when He looks at me, he does not see what I used to be, but He sees Jesus living inside of me. He sees all that I am becoming and will be in Christ before my life on this earth is over. So long, satan and all your rotten lies I have been believing. I am SO done letting you bog me down with this and rob me of my joy. God is my victory and in Him and Him alone I rest secure!
My parents gave me the name Melody Joy. When I was about 12, my mom explained that my name means "Song of Joy." Their prayer for me from the moment they knew I was coming, was that I would be a song of joy in people's lives, pointing them to God. Father, let it ever be so! My new last name is NOW, my name means, "Song of Joy to the King" I like to add a little extra and hope and pray with all my heart, that as I learn to take every thought captive in Christ, and refuse to believe any of the world's and ultimately satan's stupid lies about me, my daily life will be an exuberant "SONG OF JOY TO THE KING OF KINGS!

"This is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on it's way. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on His promise I'll stand. I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain. I WILL REJOICE, I WILL DECLARE, GOD IS MY VICTORY AND HE IS HERE!!!!" Amen?